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Five Things That Will Not Happen To Me In Scotland

Five Things That Will Not Happen to me In Scotland, a list, by jo
  1. I will not find Excalibur encased in stone, pull it out, and turn out to be the Once and Future King.
  2. I will not receive my (very late) Hogwart's letter.
  3. I will not be invited into any rebellions against the British Monarchy, especially not by men in kilts with very bad Scottish accents.
  4. I will not step into a fairy ring and be lost for fifty years, returning to find my friends and family have forgotten all about me.
  5. Sean Connery will not suddenly realize I am the woman for him, and sweep me off my feet.

Bonus entry:

6. I will not find out I am Anna McCloud of the Clan McCloud, and I can never die. (And whomever I reveal this to will not suddenly want to have sex with me because of it.)

Damn, that's making Scotland seem a bit less appealing, all things considered.

In unrelated news: I am terribly ill. I won't bore you with the details. But it's been hard to care enough to either update my blog or answer my email. Sorry 'bout that.


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