A Cornacopia of Love
After accepting this position (I am now Assistant Night Manager at a hotel), I got offered two other jobs today.
Isn't life weird?
I'd say more, but I haven't slept much yet, and I work tonight.
After accepting this position (I am now Assistant Night Manager at a hotel), I got offered two other jobs today.
Isn't life weird?
I'd say more, but I haven't slept much yet, and I work tonight.
Random Thoughts and Reflections After Being in Edinburgh for a Week, a not-quite-list, by jo
1. Odd things are "backwards". The handle on the toilet is on the opposite side, the "on" for switches is the opposite.
2. They really use words like "bril" and "fab" in job interviews.
3. They also use the word "fortnight" all the time over here.
4. I have yet to meet anyone actually born in Edinburgh.
5. There is apparently only one gaming store in this city. I have yet to find it, but I haven't been looking that hard.
6. I had a conversation with someone today where he told me, "Well, yeah, I'm sure it's all interesting to you, but I've been here for 10 years now. It's boring."
7. My internal response to that was "You have a castle! How can you not love having a castle? Are you all insane?"
8. I have accidentally stepped on a couple of people's toes by mentioning "Britain". I mustn't do that, because I am in Scotland. I shouldn't refer to England as Britain.
9. Most people overseas don't like Americans. I've realized that this is a difference between American vacationers, American travelers, and Americans who don't leave the country. The vacationers are really annoying, not so much the rest.
10. The sun sets very late at this time of year (it's just setting now, and it's after ten), and it rises very early (I have seen 4:30 a.m. far too often, but I know the sun rises here around that time).
11. I can look across the street right now and see someone sitting on the window sill and looking down at the street below.
12. I really don't want to spend the summer living in a hostel.
In unrelated news, I got a job.
I climbed to the top of a very very tall hill today.
Heh. "Climbed". Makes it sound like I hammered spikes into the side of the rock face or something like that.
Basically, I spent the morning (and part of the afternoon) on Arthur's Seat, which is this rather largish hill thingy just down the road from here. It was a very intense workout for someone as incredibly out of shape as I am.
The view, though....
More on that later.
One of the things that got to me, though, was the people who were just barrelling up there, head down, not looking what they were passing. Every few minutes, the view became more majestic, and I could see something different. First, it was just the grounds around Holyrood Palace, but as I got higher I could see the ocean, the castle, the big churches (there are a lot more of them than I thought), the other big hill in Edinburgh, and the whole city spread out below me. I don't know why anyone wouldn't want to enjoy every moment of that.
Well, except for the fact that I picked one of the harder walks on the way to the top. Because I am oh so clever. *sigh*
The original plan was to take one of the easier routes (not the really easy one, since that really lacked the beautiful views and isn't nearly as satisfying), but got distracted by the first path I saw and went up that instead. It went over the crags, first, then up the steep side. I'll admit it, I spent about half an hour all told just sitting and staring at the view, and trying not to notice how sore my ankles were getting.
(Oh, but the view....)
I spent a bit of time beratting myself. I mean, I know people who could have rushed up to the top of the hill without breaking a sweat, and there I was, barely able to pull myself up to the last little plateau thingy, and then climbing up to the top of the actual rock itself. I kept telling myself how incredibly out of shape I was.
Then I rememebered that none of those people are in Scotland right now.
I have got to stop comparing myself to other people. So I can't run up the side of a hill without breaking a sweat. I don't get anxious anymore about dealing with new situations.
So, yeah, I got to the top of the hill, and looked out over all of Edinburgh, out over the ocean, down to the city, and got a real sense of where I was. The view was outstanding, and so appreciated for taking the long way of getting there.
But I took the easy way down.
I went to Mary King's Close today. Which was not as cool as I wanted it to be, but was interesting.
The story I was told about the Close was that, during the height of the Black Death, the close was walled up and people were left to die there. Several years (several several years) later, when the overcrowding in the city got insane, people began to consider moving back to the Close. The first night the new family, the Coldhearts, stayed there, they saw floating heads, and heard ghostly voices. There are conflicting accounts of whether they stayed or fled in terror.
Of course, what actually happened isn't quite so disturbing.
Mary King's Close was the worst of the areas affected by the plague when it happened, but it was never walled up. I understand from the tour (it wasn't quite clear) that it got very depopulated, but was a working street up until it was covered over to build the City Building in the 1700s. The way the Closes off the Royal Mile work is that they're all very sharply slanted downhill, towards what was the Nor'Loch and is now Princes Street Gardens. (This was so the waste buckets would travel down hill and into the lake. Yum.) When they decided to build the new buildings, they wanted them at the same level as the Royal Mile. So, they razed the buildings to the level of the street, and used them as the foundations of the building. Part of the Closes underneath that still exist, as well as some of the houses.
And yes, the story about the Coldhearts is true, or so the tour says. The Close wasn't abandoned at the time, and I'm not quite sure where they were when the haunted night happened, but it did come up during the tour.
There's also a part of the place that's haunted by a girl's ghost, named Annie. A Japanese psychic apparently found her in one of the houses that still kinda survive. She was very sad because her whole family was dead, and she had lost her doll. So, the psychic bought her a new doll, and now people who come through occasionally leave her more toys, to appease her restless spirit.
I left her one of my ducks, cuz I have about a million of them. So, if you ever go down there and see the little yellow duck with the goggles and the face mask, that's mine.
As a side note, the whole area is very very cramped, so every time I had to bend over double to get under a doorframe, I thought about Don.
Well, after that I went for a walk down to the People's Story museum. It was...
Okay, I hated it.
I'm sure it would be more interesting if I had something better to base it in, but it isn't really set with much context, and it goes all over the place. It's never really clear what time period they're going into next. It starts in the 1500s, I think, and goes up to the modern day. I think. Part of it was interesting, because I was comparing it in my head to a similar museum I saw in Halifax, Pier 41, which was showing people wanting to leave Scotland (and half the rest of the world) to live in Canada. But part of it was so... condenscending to their subject matter.
For example, showing a widow living in one of the tennement. "She is feeding the baby with a bit of milk-dipped bread, because her breast has run dry. The children would be better off at the school run by the (pastor), but she's afraid that if they find out one of the children is illegitimate and she will lose her widow's pension. Only the bottle of whisky can ease her pain."
I'm just going to leave that for itself, because foaming-at-the-mouth isn't my idea of a fun blog post.
Other than that, it was a quiet day. I had a nap that lead to a surreal dream about a role playing game back home, Purgatory, which included the line "You're only trying to kill me because I'm pretty and now you'll never be again". Being uttered by Nolan, who has never played, to some woman wearing a plague mask.
Ah. I'm apparently the only sober person in the room, and people are asking for ducks. I think I shall sign off for now, and go in search of food. Or sober people.
I have a new theory.
The city was not built on a hill on purpose. Oh no. The city was built under a cloud on purpose.
They tell me it's been very nice and sunny lately, which makes me very sad. Because it hasn't been. At least, not by my standards. It has been raining every night, which has been pleasant. People have been complaining about the heat. I'm very content with the weather right now, although I've decided that the use of an umbrella is really a waste of my time. It's not raining quite enough to bother.
Today I spent the morning on a walking tour (for free!) of the Royal Mile. It was a very interesting tour, about 2 hours of walking up and down the street. The girl who led it explained what the closes, wynds and courtyards all are. Closes were built for a horse to get through on its own (probably before the stairs were put in). Wynds were for a horse and cart. And I can't remember the courtyards.
She told us a bit about various places, but it was really just enought to whet my appetite. Which is probably the point. It's a great tour if you're just interested in an idea of Edinburgh, and an interesting starting point for those of us who are obsessed with the human side of history.
Some of the stories were quite grotesque, about people being hanged from the roofs of buildings, about how sewers were handled, witches being tossed into lochs, and evil merchants having their ears nailed to a door. She mentioned a few of the royal murders (apparently the blood of David Ricco can still be seen in Holyrood Palace), and pointed out where Mary King's Close is. That place was apparently walled up during the plague, and when they finally reopened it the place was haunted. There's a ghost tour that claims it's the most haunted place in the world, and I'm almost tempted to take it.
We did the obligatory mocking of Braveheart, and apparently the father of the man who runs the hostel that I'm staying in was one of the group that stole the Stone of Destiny from England and ran around with it in the back of a car for four months, trying to keep ahead of the police and the army. I really need to do some more reading.
I went to the Library yesterday, and left in a foul mood. I need "official" letters to prove that I live in the city. Which, of course, I can't get until I get something with a bill. *sigh* Maybe when I sign my flat lease, that will suffice.
But, they are hiring people to work in the Library. Part time on weekends. I could do that, and be very happy, since as someone pointed out, travelling on the weekends could be a bitch, but working a part time job on weekends and a couple of shifts during the week could be very useful.
My afternoon was spent hunting for jobs. I intended to spend part of it looking at flats, but I found out that I'll need a bit more money than I actually have to apply for one. I am certain there's a viable solution to this problem, but I haven't come up with it. (I mean besides "Dear mom and dad, please send money, hugs and kisses, Anna", because they would kill me, and then hide the body. Or maybe hang it from a tall building. Or something.)
I've been trying to sound cheerful over all, but I'm going to admit to a bit of a sense of despair. I know, I'm pushing it, but I hate being unemployed, and I've been here since Tuesday and why don't I have a job yet? It's stupid, I know, but I'm just so anxious.
On top of that, I'm a bit lonely. It was so stressful the last two weeks I was in Edmonton that I didn't really get to enjoy it. I had a great time in B.C., but it just sorta made it more obvious that here, I don't really have anyone to talk to yet. I'm still settling in. And I really feel like I never get any privacy. So, I'm lonely, sharing a room with 7 girls I don't know, in a hostel known for partying. I feel a bit out of place.
Monday, I will start to look for a flat and stuff. I think I'll spend the weekend doing touristy stuff, and writing cover letters for the few jobs I've seen where you can't apply online. Maybe I'll do the ghost tour....
So, I think I may have figured out the traffic issue.
This is my theory: First, the cars going north-south go. Then, the cars going east-west go. Then, when none of the cars are moving, the people get to cross the street.
Maybe. I think.
I just follow the little green man. I know there are a lot of people who cross before the little green man says they can, but I'm not brave enough yet. The streets are scary when the cars are coming from the wrong direction.
But, yesterday overall was a really nice day. I'm a bit anxious about being unemployed (still), but really, I only started looking for work yesterday. I'm just freaking out because I can. I had a job interview today where I demonstrated that I can type 84 WPM with a 96% accuracy rating, and I can use Word. So, hopefully that will lead to something. They emailed a couple of my references.
And I finally started meeting a couple of people here in the hostel, and going out and doing something. Mike, who is from South Africa, can't remember my name so he just calls me 'Canada'. I also met a pair of sisters from Ottawa (one of whom spent some time working in Gimli, which is where I was born), and a couple of other people. We're making jokes about how there are no actual Scottish people in Edinburgh, or at least none of us have met any. *grin* The whole idea of making a lifestyle out of living in foreign places really appeals to a lot of people. Although I seem to be the only person here who doesn't drink or use other recreational drugs.
Last night we went out to a bar that has a free movie theater. Basically, you just tell the bar what you want to watch of their list of DVDs, and they show it in their 50 person theater. It was 4 Weddings and a Funeral, which I didn't like at all. (I have a thing against movies where someone waits till their fiance is at the altar to say "Oh, I don't want to get married".) But the bar itself is just surreal. It takes up half this "basement" section that includes several "dungeons". They were filming a music video there last night, so I didn't get to see the whole place.
Speaking of recreational drugs.... There was a very very very attractive and half naked young man there. mmmmm. He was wearing tattoos, a kilt, and a pink mohawk. *grin* And a lot of sweat, since he was dancing around like a mad man to some drum beats. Very nice.... And high as a kite.
It's been an interesting day today, too, and not only because of the job interview. I went to the "New Town" for the interview, and checked around there for a few things. Found a very nice bookstore and tried to remind myself that I couldn't afford the lovely books. *sigh* I also got to walk over the Waverly Bridge, and checked out one of the many "closes" that lead off the High Street, which is where I'm living right now.
Basically, a close seems to be some sort of walking street. There are several dozen off of the street, and they all have interesting names. The one I ended up walking up (with its millions of stairs, god I'm going to be thin by the end of the summer) was called "Advocate's Close". I know a lot of them have a history to them, which you can find out on the walking tours. I can't wait to take one.
It's been a nice day, and it isn't even 5 p.m. yet. I think I might go out and do something all Scottish for the evening.
I swear, this entire city is built on a hill. A really steep hill.
Everywhere I walk, I'm walking up hill. It's insane. I don't think I've walked downhill once since coming here. I know, it sounds impossible, but it's true!
It's nice, though. I walked to both ends of the Royal Mile yesterday. On one end is Holyrood Palace, and the other end has Edinburgh Castle. I haven't been inside either one yet, but I have been awed by the outside of the castle. It's... everything I thouht it would be.
There are a number of walking tours, and later today I'm going to take a bus tour around the city. I want to get myself a bit more oriented. I'm very afraid of getting lost, even if I'm a ten minute block from two major landmarks. *grin*
I accomplished a few things yesterday: I finally found a power adaptor so I can plug in my laptop. I got a cell phone (that only costs 5 p per minute to call home, and has free incoming calls. Damn, cell phones are nice here). I also got a mail box. The mail box was more expensive. *laugh*
I found a few leads on jobs that I'll be calling later today. I just want to get a few things sorted out first. Like getting my resume printed, which I'll do later today, too.
I've met a couple of people in the hostel. A lot of them are like me - looking for work in several wrong places. Everyone's really laid back and relaxed, and when I woke up at 4:30 a.m. and wandered into the common area, I sat with a nice boy from South Africa and talked about nothing at all important.
(Don't tell Tom, but they think people who wear Utila-kilts are twits here.)
One thing I've found about living in a hostel: most people have no trouble asking where you're from, but they rarely ask your name.
Anyway, it's around 7:30 in the morning here, and I have a full day planned. I can't wait to get started on it. I can't remember the last time I was this happy.
Oh, one last thing: Maybe it's the flannel jacket that's giving me away as Canadian. *wink*
Dear god am I ever not at my best. Carrying the majority of everything I own down several streets older than my country is rather exhausting.
I've been gone for a week
I've been drunk since I left
Well, kinda. I mean, everyone kept offering me alcohol.
These so-called vacations
Will soon be my death
Espcially since the airline I came across on kept reminding us several times during the flight where the emergency exit was, and made us fill out contact information for next-of-kin on the back of our boarding passes.
I'm so sick from the drink
I need home for a rest....
But, I'm okay.
I really haven't had time to absorb the fact that I'm in Scotland yet. It seems just... too much to think about yet. I've been more focusing on figuring out where I am, and where I'm going next, than at looking at much. Once I found a hostel for tonight, I dropped off my bag and just looked around a bit. Found the post office, found the internet cafe, bought a couple of postcards, and checked out at least one very attractive young man in a kilt.
Very attractive. Mmmm....
Where was I? Oh, right, Scotland.
Anyway, I took a train this morning from Glasgow. (Scarecrow, I took a train! And it was great!) I saw sheep! And cows! And sheep! Lots of sheep! And... and... a golf course surrounded by sheep! (No, really.) The train was incredibly quiet, and I got to Edinburgh in about an hour. Both train stations are larger than some towns I've lived in.
I see a lot of Canadians (or at least people with Canadian flags on their backpacks) in the area, which is interesting. I suspect I'll run into more at the hostel tonight. It's kinda surreal... the thing I liked about the hostels in China was the variety of countries people were from. (Well, that and having a game of Chinese chess with a guy from Japan and a guy from China, both of whom only had broken English as a common language.) So far, I've run into people from Scotland, and Canadians.
I can't get over how friendly everyone seems to be here, though. I don't know what I was expecting, but I've been getting a lot of help from people. I'm not sure if it's the guide book, the accent, or the general looking lost that's helping me here. *grin* But, I'm not complaining.
I've discovered that they sell cherry coke in cans, and that the coins over here come in a variety of confusing shapes and sizes.
The cab driver that took me from the airport to the hostel in Glasgow hates the "Bloody British" and the "Stupid Americans". So far, I've been told five times that it's great that I'm from Canada, and not the States, cuz they're all stupid. Oh, and the cab drive thinks Edinborough is evil.
I think I need a rest again... Or at least to find that mobile phone shop everyone's been pointing me to.
I have had a really good couple of weeks. I've been out for beer and lengthy conversation with Barry, had a yummy lunch with Kristi, got my nails done with Mel, had dinner at Joe's place with Crash, Linette, Kristi and Linda, had dinner with Raven (where we talked... and talked... and talked... *grin*), went out to see the Leg grounds with Scarecrow, played DDR (twice!) with Kris, and had a bunch of fun people over yesterday for bread and movies. Not that we watched any of the movies, but the intent was there. *grin*
In a few short hours, me and Rip will be winging our way to Vancouver. I'll spend a couple of days with my parents, a few days with Jenn, and a couple of days with Tom. Then, next Sunday, I'll be on the plane to Scotland. I managed to get my luggage to about 1 kilo over the weight limit, and I think I'll just cope with the 7$ charge. As the Worst Packrat Ever (please understand, I had been carrying some of this junk around since early high school), I'm very proud of getting everything I'm bringing down to just over 20 kgs.
I'm kinda anxious about this, but at hte same time... damn, I'm so excited! I'm gonna live in Scotland! *squee*
I probably won't post while I'm in Vancouver.
I guess I don't need to be getting the weather report for Edmonton anymore, eh?
Take care, everyone, I'll let you know when I hit Glasgow!
Today is Random Day.
Number of times I've walked with a male friend down Whyte Ave this week: 4
Number of times we've been stopped by a panhandler and told what a beautiful couple we make: 3
Number of these men I've been dating: 0
British money is funny looking. The smaller denomonations (did I spell that right?) are smaller bills, too. Holly thinks they look like play money.
I got my nails done on Tuesday with my friend Mel, and now I can't type properly. But they sure do look purty.
I managed to schedule myself to be in three different places today. I suck.
If I were just moving across country, or even across town, I would be doing great. I think I have less than a small u-haul worth of stuff left to deal with. Unfortunately, I am moving across the planet, and I can only bring something like 25kgs with me. This is causing my no end of problems, but on the other hand, I have a lot less stuff. And I will admit, I'm a lot happier because of it.
But... even after getting rid of something close to a ton of books (boxes and boxes and boxes of them have already gone, and I have four or five still kicking around), I still have a whole packed bookshelf to decide what I'm taking, and what is being given away. *sigh*
Still alive, still kicking, and looking forward to my weekend.
But the little things? God, they make me want to scream and bang someone else's head against a wall. Repeatedly.
Mostly, it's the bus. I'm convinced, totally, that the buses will be nice and pleasant in Scotland, or I'll know the reason why! I have gotten to the point where I can't stop grinding my teeth every minute I'm on the bus. It's hugely annoying and very childish and I really want to stop. Nothing is that big a deal, the people on the bus are not out to get me personally, damn it, but it feels like that. Like everyone I deal with should just know I haven't been sleeping or eating much lately, and should treat me like I'm a fragile and delicate flower ALL THE FUCKING TIME.
Yeah, I know. I'm six. Or four. Or something. Gah.
I wish I could get upset about the big things, but I seem to be taking them in stride.
Of course, it's kinda interesting how things are falling out. See, I really really wanted a laptop. I fell in love with Don's little portable Mac thingy. I want to be able to play Dungeon Keeper on the plane ride, or find wireless connections in random places. And, you know, I just wanted a computer so that I could have a computer. I'm not sure I could live a computerless life. But, the laptop I coveted was very expensive, and Don pointed out that I might be able to afford it, depending on the cost of the plane ticket. So, in a rush to prove that I can, at the age of... 28? 27? However old I am... I could buy a plane ticket all by myself, I walked into the nearest travel agent and asked for their best prices from Vancouver to Glasgow.
And found a flight for the time period I want for 150$. Canadian.
Hell, it's costing me 109$ plus tax to get to freaking Vancouver!
So, the Finalized (for real) this time plan is that I fly to Vancouver Monday afternoon, then fly out of Vancouver Sunday night. Really really late Sunday night. I'll arrive in Glasgow Monday evening, have booked a hostel for the night, and have a first class train ticket to Edinburg already paid for. The whole trip, Edmonton-Vancouver-Glasgow-Edinburg is only 450$, which is less than I exected to pay for the trip just to Glasgow. Oh, and that includes the cost of traveller's insurance for the first month of my stay.
Both Don and Margery have decided that this means the trip is meant to be, and that I should stop fretting so much about it. Obviously some power or another has decided I need to go live in Scotland. Very very soon.
So, it's shaping up to be a hectic week (although both people I was supposed to hang out with today had to cancel on me. Ah well, I'll see them tomorrow instead.). A few days ago I saw one friend who really drove it home for me that this is it. It's possible that everyone I say goodbye to this week, I may never see again. I know that sounds melodramatic, and it's true that I have full intententions of coming back for visits (and weddings, god, why is everyone I know getting married?), but who knows what will happen? Will people be gone? Will I just never really get the chance? Talking to my friend, it all felt so final, and it's finally coming to me that this is the Big Choice Thing that people make. This is looking at my life, realizing I'm very unhappy, and refusing to continue to live this way.
All joking aside, I don't think living in Scotland is going to be all roses and kitkats. But it's going to be a chance for me to make difference choices, to stop living in a rut where I'm not satisfied with anything, not work, not my social life, not my home. Maybe I'll hate Edinburg, but it'll be a new place to hate, if that makes any sense.
(Not that I hate Edmonton, I find it a beautiful place, but god, I'm so bored.)
I don't know, I have more I want to say about this, but I can't really gather my thoughts into coherency, and I really really just want to write about how my new laptop is the best thing ever, especially once I turned the modem on. I can't keep focused on much right now, so I guess I'll just end this with the comment that I'm very excited and happy and scared and anxious and worried and counting the minutes until I touch down on Scotish soil and can start claiming that all Canadians wear lobsters on their heads and just... this is going to be such a great experience, I already know it. Even if I hate every minute of it and it rains the whole time and I end up working at McHaggis or something, this is going to be a great choice, and I can't wait.
But I'll probably never stop missing Edmonton and that sense that this might, maybe, have been home, if things had turned out a bit differently. Not sure if I'll ever find another place with the sort of people I found here.
Don't look back.
Still in shock. (stop)
Leaving June 13th. (stop)
Oh my, this means I only have 10 days to do everything I want to do, and see everyone I want to see.
Okay. So, who wants to go shopping with me? I need to buy pants. A laptop. But mostly pants.
Instead, I'll just respond to a bunch of comments that I've been too lazy to actually email people in response to. I kinda suck that way.
In no particular order:
Laura: If you promise that you'll get Tall Man dressed up as nice as he was at that one Untitled game, with the top hat and everything, I would fly back from Scotland to see it.
Star: The only mandarin I remember may be less than helpful. Does Aria need to know how to say "I'm not American, I'm Canadian!" and "I have no money"? Cuz I can do that. I can also teach her how to sing "Brother John" in Mandarin. It's a song about tigers, though. One has no ears and one has no tail. It's very strange.
Wally: I really don't have ten minutes to rub together... but I could find it if the right man asked... *wink*
Raven: Oh, I don't think you'd want to be my wife anyway. There are so many shineys in my house you'd forget to crack the whip. Speaking of which, I found my whip. (Or is it Kristi's whip? I can't remember.)
Ben: Oh my, I didn't notice your comment till now. I suck. I have a whip, someone must crack it so I remember to email you. When I have more than ten minutes to rub together. See earlier comment.
Crash: Yes, yes, sending off the paperwork and getting everything ready is the point, but gah! Gah! GAH!!!
Gail: I'm getting to Scotland by plane. The question has been how I'm getting my cat to my parents' place, as the quarantine stuff in the UK is insane, and my cat would go nuts. He is, in fact, the devil in a tidy cat suit. (I did look at going over by boat, since I hate flying, but that's not economically viable.)
*thinks* Was there anything else? Nothing I can really think of....
Oh, yes. In unrelated news, my Visa arrived today.
Anyway, lately I've been having really strange days. I'll have days where I think everything in the grand city of Edmonton is wonderful. The weather is pleasant, the people are nice, there is some gorgeous eye candy on Whyte Ave (Dear Goth Boy with the black lipstick: I am moving to far far away soon, and could possible die. You wouldn't want me to die without being your special friend, would you? You can reach me any time, day or night, at firstname.lastname@example.org. Trust me. Hugs and kisses forever and ever, or at least until the next pretty goth boy walks by, Anna.), and I fall in love with the River Valley. Those are the days I can't remember why I want to leave.
Then there's the other days.
On the other days, I clench my jaw and close my eyes and mutter over and over in my head that everything in Scotland is going to be SO MUCH BETTER than it is here, and the weather will always be perfect and it will never ever ever be too hot, and the coffee will be excellent and the buses will not only run on time but never be overcrowded and I will never be bored at work or have to work with people who drive me nuts and all the role players will be PERFECTLY WELL ADJUSTED DAMN IT.
I don't really like those days.
Lately, I have been almost completely unable to sleep. I'll be awake for something like 30 hours, and still not feel tired. Friends have taken to trying to bribe me to sleep. "Okay, just close your eyes for 15 minutes, and if you're still awake when I come back, we'll go out and play DDR or something to get some of that energy off. But just try sleeping, 0kay?" "But... but... I'm not tired." Then, I close my eyes for 15 minutes and the next thing I know it's 10 hours later and I'm still not tired.
I don't eat much lately either. I just don't seem to register hungry or tired or much of anything except timetimetimetimetimetime. It's driving me a bit more nuts than I thought it would.
Oh, yeah. And remember that plan? The plan I was so fond of because I had a plan and plans are just wonderful and perfect and I had one and yay? Yeah, plan's changed. No new plan, just old plan didn't work anymore. *sigh*
So, no, I have no idea now what's going. I'm alive, I'm trying to get everything done, and I think I'll be able to pull it off....
Or, you know, I'll find some nice goth boy to distract me so I don't have to worry about it anymore. (He was really tall, too. mmmmm..... tall goth boy.....)