Because Everything In Scotland will be PERFECT, DAMN IT!
Anyway, lately I've been having really strange days. I'll have days where I think everything in the grand city of Edmonton is wonderful. The weather is pleasant, the people are nice, there is some gorgeous eye candy on Whyte Ave (Dear Goth Boy with the black lipstick: I am moving to far far away soon, and could possible die. You wouldn't want me to die without being your special friend, would you? You can reach me any time, day or night, at firstname.lastname@example.org. Trust me. Hugs and kisses forever and ever, or at least until the next pretty goth boy walks by, Anna.), and I fall in love with the River Valley. Those are the days I can't remember why I want to leave.
Then there's the other days.
On the other days, I clench my jaw and close my eyes and mutter over and over in my head that everything in Scotland is going to be SO MUCH BETTER than it is here, and the weather will always be perfect and it will never ever ever be too hot, and the coffee will be excellent and the buses will not only run on time but never be overcrowded and I will never be bored at work or have to work with people who drive me nuts and all the role players will be PERFECTLY WELL ADJUSTED DAMN IT.
I don't really like those days.
Lately, I have been almost completely unable to sleep. I'll be awake for something like 30 hours, and still not feel tired. Friends have taken to trying to bribe me to sleep. "Okay, just close your eyes for 15 minutes, and if you're still awake when I come back, we'll go out and play DDR or something to get some of that energy off. But just try sleeping, 0kay?" "But... but... I'm not tired." Then, I close my eyes for 15 minutes and the next thing I know it's 10 hours later and I'm still not tired.
I don't eat much lately either. I just don't seem to register hungry or tired or much of anything except timetimetimetimetimetime. It's driving me a bit more nuts than I thought it would.
Oh, yeah. And remember that plan? The plan I was so fond of because I had a plan and plans are just wonderful and perfect and I had one and yay? Yeah, plan's changed. No new plan, just old plan didn't work anymore. *sigh*
So, no, I have no idea now what's going. I'm alive, I'm trying to get everything done, and I think I'll be able to pull it off....
Or, you know, I'll find some nice goth boy to distract me so I don't have to worry about it anymore. (He was really tall, too. mmmmm..... tall goth boy.....)