Fear and Loathing
I'm having one of those days where I really really loathe Edinburgh. I mean, really loathe it.
These days are very few and far between for me, which is why I make mention of it. I mean, usually I think Edinburgh is perfect and wonderful and lovely, but today the buildings are too brown and dull, the wind too biting, the Scottish accent grates on my ears and the city smells awful. I want colour and snow and people who know what a Timbit is.
I think the common thread through all my days like this is the bus system. I get very impatient waiting. I hate 'rush hour'. I hate noisy obnoxious people on buses, and I get bus sick when the traffic is going poorly. I get miserable, and it just blossoms out to cover everything around me. Stupid buses, stupid traffic, stupid people... I want the North Sea to rise up and swallow it all, like Atlantis on a bad day.
So, I cope. Because really, who actually wants to spend the day being miserable and hating a city like Scotland? I don't do the whole "Let's count our blessings!" thing, but I do remind myself about the things I do like about Edinburgh.
When I wait for my second bus in the morning, I have an amazing view down the city straight to the North Sea. I keep forgetting that I'm right on the ocean, and every time I see it, I'm captured by its stark beauty.
At my current job, which is on a high hill, I have the most amazing view. I can see both the castle and Arthur's Seat. On a clear day, you can see for miles.
There is snow in Edmonton. There are still leaves that are green here.
Last week, I saw Stonehenge. This week, I see Nutcracker.
If I really, really think about it, I can remmeber why I love this city.
I don't know how other expats (or really other people, as I assume that everyone has days like this) copes with the desire for the world to open up and swallow the place your in, just happening to leave behind the three or four people that you couldn't live without, and all of your nice stuff, but for me, it's remembering that I have a nice flat, I have a nice city, and really, without Edinburgh, where would I put all my stuff?