Not a Bleak Midwinter
The last few weeks, it's been really hard for me to enjoy things. I think that's been fairly obvious, and I think the cause is that I've been too inwardly focused. Thinking about the future and pondering the past, or losing myself into well-crafted works of fiction. I tend to forget the present.
Yesterday, I reminded myself to not do that. The commute is beautiful, for all that it's long, and I forget to enjoy it when I'm wrapped up in a book.
The Castle is always silhouetted against the morning sky, dark and sinister. Sometimes there are lights on within, like flashing eyes looking out over the city. I go past it several times a day, and sometimes I forget it's there.
I pass St John's Cathedral, and the lights are always on there, flashing pink and purple through the stained glass. I love the churches here, so beautiful. I know, intellectually, that there are probably better uses for money than building huge churches, but I think they bring one closer to faith.
Edinburgh is made up of odd views, odd stores, things that make the whole city odd. Most of the buildings are brown, from age and the colour of the stone, from corrosion over time, so bright signs stand out sharply on my commute. Places like Xander's, in purple, or Baloo, in pink. Marilyn Rose has decadent red curtains in the window, and looks like the type of place where the pillows are very comfortable and there are no price tags.
Flashes of Christmas here and there. Yesterday was the first time I listened to an hour of Christmas music, at a restaurant. Old favorites I haven't heard in a long time, and thus I enjoyed them all the more. The way that every street isn't covered in bright garlands and tacky lights makes every decorated Christmas tree along the route more beautiful and unexpected.
Faith seems to have been such a strong part of the past here. I pass former churches that are now theathers, schools, libraries, bars. There's a place not too far from here that's called Holy Corner, because there are four churches, one at each corner. I wonder why, but no one can really tell me. Edinburgh has so many stories that I think the natives forget because they have no reason to remember.
I love the view from my window. Arthur's Seat and the Castle.
There is still green grass, and the snow never seems to fly, but despite all this, my midwinter will not be bleak, as long as I remember to look up.