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Dear Canada,

We've spent a lot of time together over the last 29 years, and for the most part, it's been good. We've had fun with health care after that whole getting-hit-by-a-car thing, and I still appreciate our time together after that whole picked-up-for-uttering-death-threats thing. I love that I've had insightful and intelligent debates with people over government issues and the future of our country, I really do. I mean, it's nice, to live in a country where that sort of thing can happen.

Which is why I hate to tell you this. But this is just a bit too much for me to take. I understand that we all have the right to our opinions, but some opinions, I just don't understand, and I think we need a cooling off period. A time to readjust to the new realities of our relationship.

I mean, we'll always be friends, right? Even if I do choose to spend the rest of my life in some other country where I don't need to feel responsible for the idiocy that's going on, right?

I'll always love you. Just... love changes, you know?

Be safe and be well,


PS: Call me sometime, k?


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