Anna Overseas

Arg. It's been such a hectic week and I'm feeling completely overwhelmed right now. I have done the foolish thing of attempting to navigate my way through the UK health care system. (Nothing seriously wrong.) It's been so incredibly aggravating... I'm sure there's perfectly logical ways of doing everything, but of course I'm not able to find them because I don't know them, and no one thinks to tell you these sorts of things. So, no one I know can help me sort this stuff, and it's been a frustrating bit of trial, error, and banging my head against a wall.

But things are better now.

I never thought I'd say I missed the Canadian health care system, but I did this week. In Canada, I would know where to go, who to talk to, and what to say. It took me three days to get that sorted here. Three freakin' days, because you need to first register with a practice, and then you can't get in to see them until the next day at the earliest, and they don't make appiontments at any point in advance.

But in brighter news, I may win a cow!

I may have bought the ice cream simply because it said "You can win a cow!" on the side...

I will name my not-yet-mine cow Cow! Cow the cow.

...

Yeah, anyway. Still sorting things for Aus. Sold a bunch of books today, and have plans to get rid of more things tomorrow. It's a very draining process. I wish that I could just do it all quickly and be done with it.

I am very slowly but surely hammering away at the things I need to get done in the next four months. I applied a few days ago for my Aus visa and was told (very politely) that I would need a chest x-ray before I could be considered.

A chest x-ray. Because... you know... I might have something wrong with my chest, or something.

Closest I can come to sorting that out is because I lived in China.

I've been culling books (an always painful process) and refusing to buy more stuff (equally painful - I obviously *need* more stuff, right?) and just generally getting my life into order so that I can leave in January and have everything behind me sorted out. It's... it's...

It's really really stressful and I wish it were easier, damn it.

God, no wonder half the people I know go "Oh, I envy you travelling and living overseas, but I could never do it!" It's such a freakin' hassle. Why the hell do I need to go to a doctor in Glasgow to get my chest x-rayed? That's *stupid*, and I can't get it done just anywhere... the places they suggested that weren't in Glasgow don't *do* those for the Aus visas. And wouldn't I know by now if something was wrong with me? *sigh*

Anyway, I moved my to-do before Aus list to the sidebar so I could keep track of everything, and I'm hoping it all comes together easily enough. You'd think I'd be used to this, and at least this time I won't be constantly wondering what I can leave behind. I do love the UK, and I would love to come back here, but this is definately a long-term, if not permanent, good-bye.

I don't think there's anything that can isolate an expat as much as some form of tragedy at home. There's a sense of disconnection from everything around you - you're the only person you know hitting refresh, refresh, refresh waiting for new information, praying that it's all a mistake. Around you, people are going on with their day, because to them, the words "school shooting" and "Montreal" don't have the same emotional resonance. They have no memories of years of attending December vigils by candlelight, and names aren't etched across their memories like prayers.

I'm sitting here a thousand hours away and trying to gather up words and information, trying to get responses from people and guage emotional reactions, and I can't connect properly. I'm not there, and for all that I'm not from Montreal, I've never lived there, I feel like this is something that scars the emotional landscape. I feel like hearing "school shooting" and "Montreal" always brings me back to those cloudless December nights, those women (just like us, who sat their in vigil, women who just wanted to learn and for that had to be brought down) becoming names instead of deeds, nouns instead of verbs, and I feel that powerful grief that overwhelms at lost opportunities and lost causes.

Edinburgh is only in shades of gray today and the rain hasn't stopped since I woke up.

I would feel just as helpless in Edmonton, but at least there I wouldn't feel so alone.

Since I complain about it an awful lot, I thought I'd share what I did at work last week.

An awful lot of nothing, as the photos will attest.

{We did this carnival at work last week where you had to play in games to win points, and the team with the most points won dinner at some restaurant I've never heard of. It was surreal and fun, but the best part was, of course, the duckies.}

Inverness worked out well - I have great photos and some wonderful stories. Sadly, I did not see Nessie. Once I'm more awake, I'll post about it.

Actually, while I'm pimping out photos, I have some great ones of the Fringe, but I'm mostly happy with this one of Don.

I have to get up in about... five hours so I can grab a train and head up to Inverness for the weekend. I'm excited - I'm going to be staying in a castle tomorrow night! This might be why I can't sleep. (Or it may be all the caffeine I consumed to not fall asleep at work, who knows.)

My plans include a boat across Loch Ness to Urquhart Castle, a trip out to an abbey that's up in that area, and a few other things that I can't quite recall, because someone other than me is actually planning the trip. Mostly at this point I know castle and really early train ride.

I am excited, even though I went through that neck of the woods when I did my trip through Skye. I just am really really tired right now...

I hear that the train ride can be quite romantic, though....

I put off purchasing thet tickets to Rome for one day.

Ask me how much they were when I bought them.

They were one (1) pence each way. My return ticket cost two pence, plus taxes. (Of course, it was about 13 pounds in taxes, but *still*.)

And this weekend, I'm staying at a casle overnight!

My week is, in the general sense, looking up.

(Too bad I have to go to work *anyway*. Again, why can't I get a job that travels?)

I'm totally going to Rome in November! I'm so excited! I found a great and affordable B&B, found really cheap flights (7ish pounds one way, 5ish pounds the way back), and I am totally going to Rome and I am so excited I could scream! In fact, I think I did.

I can't believe I'm going to Rome!

I still can't believe that I get to *do* these things... some days I get so down about everything I forget that I'm really having a basically good time. I get to travel almost as much as I want, and I get to go to these places that seemed so far away when I was in Canada and are now just a short plane ride away!

I'm already making a list of everything I want to do in Rome. Hey, does anyone know of any good walking tours in Rome? I love walking tours. And I'm going to see the Vatican! And... and I'm going to do other things, too!

I have all these things marked in my guide book, and I can't wait! I wish it was November *now*.

{Updated more of my China stuff, if you're looking for more of that.}