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November 20, 2005

Homesick

I know that compared to a lot of ex pats I’m a relative new comer to the experience. Its been four months since I left. With all that I’ve done it feels much longer. I am for the most part very comfortable here. I still get the occasional bout of home sickness but it doesn’t seem to last.

I am frequently surprised at how little homesickness has affected me. I really expected before I left to spend several day stretches being debilitated by it. The reality has been that bouts of homesickness have been few and rarely lasted a full day.

I think that a lot of the reason for this is how very ready I was to leave Edmonton. Before I left Edmonton I would have said that I was ok with the status quo for the most part but I have never been one who liked the idea of settling for ok. I have a bad habit of being very negative about change but at heart I dislike mediocrity. I begin to wonder in retrospect if I was more unhappy than I thought. I know that certain things that had at one stage in my life had been a joy had become a great deal of stress.

When it comes right down to it I don’t think I can claim to miss Edmonton. When I get homesick it isn’t for the city or my house or even restaurants and the like. I find that there are people who I miss. The list isn’t as large as I would have thought and two of the people in question weren’t living in Edmonton when I left.

I find that homesickness and loneliness go hand in hand for me. The times when homesickness strikes are invariably when I am feeling most isolated. Usually this is tied closely to having too much time on my hands. If I’m too busy to think about it then I probably won’t notice being homesick.

The solution then is pretty easy for me. It comes down to getting myself out of the flat, doing something useful or fun and preferably associating with people. Right now I have to make a real effort some times as I don’t have a natural program of school or work to do this. Come January, University starts and that will be a major improvement. In the mean while I role play, I see the sights of the city an beyond and continue to toy with the idea of a martial arts course or something similar.

I sometimes wonder what it will be like in another four or so months. It occurs to me that with more time those people and even some other aspects of Edmonton may be missed more strongly. On the other hand its very possible that with more time I may be even more at home where I am. I certainly hope its the latter as I truly love this city.

Posted by Bluerevolutionist at November 20, 2005 01:33 PM

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